What is rest? 

How do I rest? 

What does it look like to rest? 

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always associated this word with sleeping. In my mind, resting meant I was going to go lay down and eventually fall asleep. Nothing more, nothing less. So when I see this invitation by my Savior, to come to Him when I am feeling weary and burdened and in exchange He will give me rest.. it befuddled me. Does this mean that every time I start to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and heavy, He will make me go to sleep? What does this actually look like? 

As I try to make sense of all the emotions I’m feeling, I’m desperate to find peace. To quiet the thoughts in my mind that I can’t process all at once. It’s overwhelming, it’s loud. On one hand, I’m grateful for all of the people God has placed in my life for this season. I’m grateful that I’m learning again to be vulnerable, genuine, honest.  Grateful that I can serve and commune with others.  On the other hand, I sit here once again battling the thoughts of unworthiness, of feeling like an imposter, of over analyzing every word spoken, every struggle shared. Should I have said that? Should I have done that? Did I say that right or was I wrong? Do they still like me? Am I even worthy or smart enough to be around these people? I want to shut down, run away and hide. 

I am then reminded of His Word. His Word that has power, that heals, that saves, that is living, that jumps off of the pages as if they’re floating in the air in front of me. I remember the word, REST (anapauo in Greek). I look it up and one of the definitions leap out at me, “to keep quiet, of calm and patient expectation”. He is not inviting me to sleep it off. He’s inviting me come to Him so I can recover, feel refreshed, regain my strength in Him. And here’s the part that jumped out at me- He’s inviting me to rest in patient expectation. Patiently expecting that He will give me rest. Spiritual rest, emotional rest, mental rest. A rest that sleep can’t offer, that this world can’t offer. The same Savior that took on MY sin and carried it to Calvary, who was crucified because He stood in the gap for ME, He has promised me rest. 

So today, I stand on His promise. I take off this burden and I lay it down and I wait patiently. I don’t do, I don’t move, I don’t quit. I wait. Expecting the rest to come.. to help me feel refreshed, at ease, and calm. And I know that He is the only one who is capable, the only one who is willing, the only one worthy of me trying to live holy. 

Jesus, my Savior, The One who helps me rest. 

““Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28